Marching to my Doom and Mango Minster Mayhem

 Guinness here.  Well thanks to no one's help in securing a Mango Minster win I am here awaiting the inevitable.

 I bring Maggi along as a witness--although that won't do much good given her myopic condition and all.  But I appreciate the moral support if nothing else.

 Truthfully, we both forfeited our own Mangominster entry this year in hopes to prop up Groucho.  Ha!  Look where that got me!

 I tell Groucho to meet me down the Shore Road. Here he comes. I figured that the Ocean would be the best place to tell him.  If he tries any of his alien moves on me at least I have one last escape route.  I could jump ship and swim over to Maine.  I figured I could volunteer with the Ron Paul Campaign and help with the vote recount if nothing else.

 Well here he is and I see he has brought along his nose.

 There is no best way to do this so I just go right ahead and tell him the facts.  I blurt it all out.

 Well the strangest thing happened.  Groucho went into a cackling fit and laughed and laughed and laughed.  He started doing his stupid yoga poses again-- as you can see.

 Groucho tells me to come sit down like some wizen old scholar.  He said he is a new alien now.  He said he has ventured into inner worlds and probed the deep spaces of his mind.  What the ????!!!

 He said our main enemy is ignorance and AWARENESS is our only defence.

If only we studied in infinitesimal detail the light that embodies all life then the template of the universe would be revealed.  Holy Crap.

 Groucho said next year he will be the Guidance Councillor for Mangominster and help all the competitors deal with their obvious self image problems.

 We  head back up the lane.  Groucho leads the way with an ethereal air about him.  It all sounds good to me.

...and I walk away with my life...safe for another year!

My Imminent Death and Groucho's Mangominster Entry

 Friends, I do not know how this has happened but another year has come and gone and Mangominster is once again accepting applicants.  I am now in a fight for my life as I am forced to submit Groucho in the Adventure Alien or Bad Sport category--whichever Mango deems most appropriate.  Being an alien and not of this worldly cosmic conscience, I plead for mercy to allow his entrance--this could be the beginning of the end for me.  Here lies the truth...

Gulp.  These pictures bring back some bad times.  It all started last year when Groucho lost Mangominster.  He went into a mad frenzy.  He actually levitated down to WESTMINSTER and gate-crashed the Alien Afghan Hound category.   He lost that contest too and you can watch the video and read about it here.

 Well he came home and lost his marbles remember?  Here he is going into convulsions.

 He went into this crazy seizure like trance and faked his own death--remember?

 Yeah.  It was bad and his human had to revive him.  It was all so dramatic.

He crashed at my house for a few days and I had to plea bargin with him that we would work hard all year to build the best applicant possible for Mangominster 2012.  It was do or die.

 Groucho delivered.  He went off to Hollywood for a stint to try his paw at acting.  But the PUParazzi started delving into his past.  And the most astonishing thing happened!

 They discovered these baby alien pictures of him and soon his alien identity was starting to attract unwanted attention.

 These pictures were found deep in the archives of the internet before we even knew Groucho's true past.  It looks as if the moment that Groucho first discovered he could levitate was actually caught on tape and documented on some secret files!

 And LOOK!! The moment of his escape was finally revealed... and truth became stranger than fiction!

This did not bode well for Groucho so, as you all know...Groucho fled to the NORTH MOUNTAIN to live there as a hermit.

Do you recall the time I went to visit him at his campsite? Well, here he is levitating right off the ground!! Look at him soaring above the Earth!  He was trying to catch squirrels and living off boiled underpants, remember?

That did not go so well because a few weeks later I saw smoke signals coming from the NORTH MOUNTAIN.  I found Groucho near death and rescued him off said Mountain.



 He ended up having to come home and have his hip replaced.  It was a very trying time for all of us.

Unfortuneatly this picture started circulating around Town around the same time Groucho was on the NORTH MOUNTAIN.  It even made the local newspaper and you can read that stupid story here... But basically some bird watchers had captured the image and said there was a monster on the MOUNTAIN.  I recognized the picture right away and warned Groucho that the authorities were looking for him and he better leave town.  FAST.

So then Groucho left town and went to live amoung his own kind for a while over in Alienville.  Here is the postcard he sent me.

But then the authorities found his old dental records so he was forced to come home to get plastic surgery and change his identity.

As you can see they did a great job and that will hold off any speculation for some time.

But Groucho can't help himself and he started back with his questionable antics.   Here he is sitting on these Green eggs again to try and raise some of his own kind.

No doubt he wants Allen, his alien hamster, to have some friends.

And also Groucho has taken to some old TV re-runs that have given him some strange ideas and raised some eyebrows. 

 The authorities have got wind of this too and now Groucho is drawing some unwanted attention to himself.

We are now counting on a Mangominster win to propel him to fame and victory once again so he can take his winnings and continue with his plastic surgery disguise.  I am sure you can all see the scope of this situation in which we found ourselves. 

Anyone interested in helping can please donate to Groucho's Nose Job Fund.  We gotta get that Gonzo-like appendage fixed once and for all.

You can see what I have had to deal with over the past year.  Please consider not only your life but mine when you cast your vote.  Guinness.