Little Miss "Herself"

Excerpts from the Valley Chronicle

It seems that the NORTH MOUNTAIN is home to its own monster mystery these days. Two tourist visiting the area last week have submitted an interesting photo while out bird watching. Although many speculate the photo to be a hoax, experts claim the picture to be legitimate and un-tampered with. With today's technology they were even able to zoom in for a close up of the creatures unsightly face. Here it is below. WARNING: DISTURBING SCENE

" It was a perfect day for bird watching..." says the first tourist who does not wish to be identified. "Clear blue skies, not a cloud in sight. Lots of great bird activity to observe. That is when it happened."

" I know it sounds crazy..." interrupts the second tourist sheepishly, "but we saw a strange furry creature levitating up and down from tree to tree." With some prompting the first gentleman continues. " Thank goodness I had my camera out and ready. I was photographing the elusive bluebirds that were nesting in a cluster of pine trees. I snapped one picture of the monster and we got out of there as fast as we could. It tried to follow us. It was speaking a strange cackling language. I think he was weak--looking for squirrels in the trees. He had a foul odor about him--like boiled underpants."

Skeptics have rejected the incident claiming a set-up with a stuffed toy, or a Jim Henson Muppet. But one resident of a nearby town, Guinness the Irish Wolfhound, has bravely stepped forward to confirm the creature's exsistence.

Looking bored, the large Irish Wolfhound rolls his eyes. "Oh, him...yeah. I recognize the picture all right...nevermind about that idiot..he's gone past his "best before" date. He is home safe now and won't be bothering with the NORTH MOUNTAIN anytime soon."

What ever you choose to believe one thing is for certain: The strange goings-on of the NORTH MOUNTAIN will feed fable and legend for years to come... and two unknown birdwatchers will never visit the area again.

The Abandoned Cynic

Get off my field--you may not roam

do not come knocking, i am not home

No tenderness for the passerby

and no loveliness for the careless eye

OH! i once had a splendour that was all my own

it lies hidden now beneath brittle bone

There is a far off laughter almost heard

where the dust, you can almost taste, has stirred

And soon i'll return to the earth's soft yield

my secrets ever buried in this hell-lonely field

The Girl who Stole Our Hearts

HONK HONK

Do you ever heave a sigh or a wish for me...

Good girl Saige--one year gone

Bluenoser