Wednesday, January 4, 2012

My Imminent Death and Groucho's Mangominster Entry

 Friends, I do not know how this has happened but another year has come and gone and Mangominster is once again accepting applicants.  I am now in a fight for my life as I am forced to submit Groucho in the Adventure Alien or Bad Sport category--whichever Mango deems most appropriate.  Being an alien and not of this worldly cosmic conscience, I plead for mercy to allow his entrance--this could be the beginning of the end for me.  Here lies the truth...

Gulp.  These pictures bring back some bad times.  It all started last year when Groucho lost Mangominster.  He went into a mad frenzy.  He actually levitated down to WESTMINSTER and gate-crashed the Alien Afghan Hound category.   He lost that contest too and you can watch the video and read about it here.

 Well he came home and lost his marbles remember?  Here he is going into convulsions.

 He went into this crazy seizure like trance and faked his own death--remember?

 Yeah.  It was bad and his human had to revive him.  It was all so dramatic.

He crashed at my house for a few days and I had to plea bargin with him that we would work hard all year to build the best applicant possible for Mangominster 2012.  It was do or die.

 Groucho delivered.  He went off to Hollywood for a stint to try his paw at acting.  But the PUParazzi started delving into his past.  And the most astonishing thing happened!

 They discovered these baby alien pictures of him and soon his alien identity was starting to attract unwanted attention.

 These pictures were found deep in the archives of the internet before we even knew Groucho's true past.  It looks as if the moment that Groucho first discovered he could levitate was actually caught on tape and documented on some secret files!

 And LOOK!! The moment of his escape was finally revealed... and truth became stranger than fiction!

This did not bode well for Groucho so, as you all know...Groucho fled to the NORTH MOUNTAIN to live there as a hermit.

Do you recall the time I went to visit him at his campsite? Well, here he is levitating right off the ground!! Look at him soaring above the Earth!  He was trying to catch squirrels and living off boiled underpants, remember?

That did not go so well because a few weeks later I saw smoke signals coming from the NORTH MOUNTAIN.  I found Groucho near death and rescued him off said Mountain.

 He ended up having to come home and have his hip replaced.  It was a very trying time for all of us.

Unfortuneatly this picture started circulating around Town around the same time Groucho was on the NORTH MOUNTAIN.  It even made the local newspaper and you can read that stupid story here... But basically some bird watchers had captured the image and said there was a monster on the MOUNTAIN.  I recognized the picture right away and warned Groucho that the authorities were looking for him and he better leave town.  FAST.

So then Groucho left town and went to live amoung his own kind for a while over in Alienville.  Here is the postcard he sent me.

But then the authorities found his old dental records so he was forced to come home to get plastic surgery and change his identity.

As you can see they did a great job and that will hold off any speculation for some time.

But Groucho can't help himself and he started back with his questionable antics.   Here he is sitting on these Green eggs again to try and raise some of his own kind.

No doubt he wants Allen, his alien hamster, to have some friends.

And also Groucho has taken to some old TV re-runs that have given him some strange ideas and raised some eyebrows. 

 The authorities have got wind of this too and now Groucho is drawing some unwanted attention to himself.

We are now counting on a Mangominster win to propel him to fame and victory once again so he can take his winnings and continue with his plastic surgery disguise.  I am sure you can all see the scope of this situation in which we found ourselves. 

Anyone interested in helping can please donate to Groucho's Nose Job Fund.  We gotta get that Gonzo-like appendage fixed once and for all.

You can see what I have had to deal with over the past year.  Please consider not only your life but mine when you cast your vote.  Guinness.


  1. BWAHAHAHAHAHA You deserve a trophy for this post!

  2. Hey Guinness!
    Wow, that's the funniest Groucho post ever! I think he's a shoe-in for a big win at MM this year. Boy, if he could get Han Solo's autograph for my Mom, she'd go all SQUEEEEEEE!
    Grr and Woof,
    Sarge, COP

  3. This is HYSTERICAL!!!

    The Heartbeats

  4. oh really? wow! Thanks everyone!!!! haha. Groucho really is a weirdo if you could meet him in person. he is totally nuts and makes strange noises and has poor social skills. he always does these strange body contortions too...he could only be an alien

  5. Oh my! I have never met an Alien before! Not really sure I want to either. But.........if he really needs my vote.......I may reconsider, for some special favors of course! Like maybe a hat made out of his furs, or a vest, or scarf????? I'll need something to keep me warm when I move to New Hampshire!
    Lovies, Miss Mindy

  6. That crazy Groucho....we hope he wins or the world may be in danger.

    XXXOOO Daisy, Bella & Roxy

  7. Guinnes,
    I just don't have anything to say other than thank goodness you need a passport to get out of Canada - of course I doubt they stop spacecraft at the border.


  8. First, Happy Belated Birthday, Guinness! You are indeed a very young 50; we expect you to make 120 easy.

    Second, you make a compelling case for Groucho as an Adventurous Bad Sport, and we wish him success in MM2012. Just in case, however, you do have a Plan B in mind, don't you? He could slip south of the border and volunteer with the Ron Paul campaign until Mr. Paul is forced to drop out :)

    Jed & Abby

  9. Groucho, this is a shoo-in. No further entrants needed. The winner is determined.

    Woos - Phantom, Thunder, Ciara, and Lightning

  10. oh my goodness hilarious!!!
    Benny & Lily

  11. Ok. I laughed to tears! BOL

    You're a winner! :)

  12. Oh my. Someones mom has a BAAAAAAAD case of cabin fever! LOL

  13. Groucho, our Mom is in love with you. She says it's always been her dream to own an Afghan. We don't know what she means because she has this old blanket that she cuddles up in and she calls it an afghan. People are kind of nutty sometimes. Anyway, good luck at Mango Minster.
    Morgan, Tsar and the Porties

  14. Just popped over to check out the competition in the Adventure Animal category.
    So much adventure crammed into a single blog post. I am totally overwhelmed. Or I would be if I too were not a world-beating adventurer...
    Toodle pip!

  15. Wow an ALIEN adventure. Too Cool

    As an adventure kitty I am always looking for new things to try and as a CIA agent I thinks this bears looking into. Hopefully Groucho is not wanted by the CIA as I would be forced to reveal his whereabouts and try to bring him in and I thinks that adventure might stretch even my abilities to the breaking point. ~Arty Mouse

  16. OMG, Guiness... i would think the hip replacement alone would win the adventure spot for him. hopefully this year he'll win and stop having hissy fit dramatics...and you can have a year of peace. unless of course he flaunts his crown and roses in front of you day in and day out... lets face it. it's a no win situation for you either way...

  17. Poor Groucho...Having to get a new identity can be so stressful...not to mention painful! Was he really standing on his front paws?! Wow. And an actual trip to Roswell, where it possibly all began. That was adventurous, cuz they might have taken him back to Mars! bol. Good luck in MM2012.
    Smooches from pooches,
    BabyRD & Hootie

  18. Guinness, you DEFINITELY need an award for this entry! I tagged you and Groucho in a post i just did. pls stop by and check it out! i would LOVE to get to know you all better!

    Tail Wiggles & Puppy Kisses,

    Coco The Princess