Tuesday, January 12, 2010

The Forgotten One, the Forty-One, the Fat One

I turned 3 on New Year's Day. That's right. I am a New Year's baby and my Momma forgot to tell you. It is kinda important don't you think? I mean, it is not everyday your big boy turns 3!!!

Saige was the only one who showed up to my party...and she lives here!

I invited Groucho but look...here he is charming up all the girls at a DIFFERENT birthday party!



His Mom!!!! She turned FORTY-ONE! So MY mom made her this cake of the New Sewage Treatment Plant because Groucho's mom is a Town Councillor and involved in the project. She is the "number one" girl in the "number 2 business"--hehehe--get it ....#2?



See all the sewer rats and the lagoon filled with all sorts of nice FLOATABLES? hehehe



And look--my mom and Groucho's dad can only eat this much of the cake because they are on a program called "Weight Watchers".


See, look how big and strong my mom is --she was the National heavy weight powerlifting champ! See her eyeballs popping out of her red face?

Here she is bench pressing the first 300 pounds ever by a female in Canada. Kewl huh?



But NOW....she says it is time to be an athlete and not a fatlete. And guess what! I gained weight myself over Christmas and I am a whopping 163 pounds! My vet thought that I should go back into the 150 range so I won't stress my broken leg--oh but how I DO love to eat treats!


But look what else I forgot to tell you---I am on page 45 of the new Dog Joy book!



See, look. They even sent me a CUSTOM COPY of me on the cover! So I guess if I am going to be a cover model I will have to watch my figure after all. Til next time...Guinny.

32 comments:

  1. Yeah, models have to watch their waistlines for sure. Your mom is a little scary! Wow! She could bench press ME!

    My momma did that weight watchers thing too and got all skinny, but then she gained back the weight and got the high cholesteral and her vet says she needs to be skinny again. Sigh.

    Hey, ask your mom how she would feel about me photoshopping my large and not readily lifted self into one of her photos.

    Slobbers,
    Mango

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  2. Hey Wolfies! Are you going to enter Mango Minster? Judges Martha and Bailey would sure like to see such fine hound dogs as yourselves.

    Slobbers,
    Mango

    P.S. I will put momma to work on those photos tonight.

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  3. HAPPY BEE LATED BIRTHDAY TO YOU GUINNESS !!! I AM SOOO SORRY WE ALL MISSED YOUR BIG DAY.

    Loved the cake!! I thought it was #1, 2(too). Sooo funny. And they didn't even send you a weight watcher sized bite???? Darn, that is dawg abuse.
    I would come up there and give your mom a piece of my mind, butt I think she could put me down. I'm just sayin'. hehehe

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  4. Happy Birthday Guiness! You are looking mighty fine! We are really enjoying our copy of Doy Joy. And of course you are our favorite!

    Good luck with the "fat" thing. The Duchess is always crying about being fat!

    Kisses,
    Emma Rose

    PS That cake looks pretty tasty to me!

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  5. Happy Birthday Guiness! Molly our labradoodle turned 5 on that same day!

    Your momma is strong. That is super neat-o.

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  6. Happy birthday big guy!! Love the photo of you with the 3 hats on!!
    You mom is one strong lady!! Did she start all of that to better handle puppies as large as you? That has to be one of the strangest cakes I've ever seen. Did it's theme deter anyone from eating it??

    Snorts-
    Brutus the Frenchie

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  7. Happy Birthday Guiness! Oh man, mom should definitely get a nip for not remembering to let everyone know.

    And, scary to think your mom could bench press Mango. I guess that could come in handy if Mango won't move when it's time to vacuum...Anyways, I digress. Ya know, there are plus size models. Maybe you could be on the cover of one of those magazines? I think Stella is...

    Snorts and Farts,
    Gunther

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  8. Holy cow, you're famous! You're published! My mom has been trying to get published for years...do you have any tips for her?

    Yer pals,
    Sketcher and Angel

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  9. I didn't know you were a cover "Wolfie"!!! Holy Joy Dog!!! Furry cool! So much in this post! Happy Barkday to you, belated! I LOVE the cake your mom made for her pal - now that's love between friends heheh!!! BEAUTIFUL!! Sorry Groucho wasn't with you, but you gotta be around your mama to help out when she's benching 300!!! My mom did some powerlifting a few years back and had a lot of fun at it - she dug hanging with the crowds too!!! Back to YOU: I love the way you're wearing your hat(s)! Furry creative! Must get your book! Again, have a great day and (mom and dad - sounds like you are doing great on the WW!)
    Hugs xo
    Sammie

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  10. Hey, Groucho here!!!! Love the pictures of me and my Mom!!!!! Man it's hard being so famous!!!! And handsome!!!! And yes Guiness you're da man toooooooo!!!!!

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  11. i thought you'd like today's post Groucho!

    love guinness

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  12. wow! there was a lot of birthday celebrations going on where you are! Too bad we live so far away, or I woulda come help eat that cakey. Yummy!!

    Happy Birthday to Guiness, Guinesses Mom, and Guinesses Mom's friend!

    wags, wiggles & slobbers
    Murphydog

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  13. Wooos! Happy Birthday to woo Guinness! I think woo look mighty swell, despite what that pesky vet says.... Mum is doing that weight watchers thingy too, and wii fit, she is sore , hungry and cranky... not much fun, can I trade mums for awhile, yours looks nice and strong!
    -Kira The BeaWoootiful

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  14. Hey Guinness! What a fun post and a very Happy, Beelated Birthday to you. Yes, it is very important for Mom's to tell people when their babies are birthday boys (and girls). All this activity, its hard to know where to start. But congrats on the magazine cover, on the yucky cake, on weight lifting, on going to WW, and just being You, you Happy Nova Scotians!

    Regards to Groucho too!

    Cheers and hugs,
    Stella

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  15. Aww Happy Birthday Guinness!
    That was a fun cake Grouchos mom got for her birthday!

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  16. Happy Birthday Guinness - you look great at three - you are now the same age as Martha!
    We loved Groucho's mum cake! Our mum has a birthday today and she is feeling very old but we have told her she is lucky - she no longer has to worry about dying young!
    She typed that herself - we reckon it has affected her mind!
    We liked all your entry photos to the hound contest.
    love and kisses
    Martha & Bailey xxx

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  17. Happy Belated Barkday! ARROOOOO to you! You look wonderful the way you are...what's a few howliday pounds amongst friends. I'd rather snuggle by the fire myself (if I had a fire, that is).
    sniffies,
    Bonnie

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  18. Hi Guinness, now that you're a model - and a cover model at that - are you going to become a bit of a 'luvvie' and only hang out with the 'beautiful people'?! Oh hang on - you already do. That would be Saige, with her endlessly long legs - wistful sighs....!!

    Happy belated birthday 'new year baby'! We love the 3-hat look there, really sweet! And that cake looked - er - different! Still yummy though! If you can not think about the 'floatables' for too long, he he he!

    We knew your mom was a fit person but to find out that she could lift Mango the RH REALLY puts her awesomeness into perspective - HOLY COW!!! We are in awe!

    Schnauzer snuggles - JD and Max.

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  19. Happy birthday Guinness!

    That was some cake your Mom made and we are madly impressed with the weightlifting photos!

    The NSLM's dad here is going on a weight management programme - none too happy about it I can tell you!

    Happy birthday wishes again!
    Love from Clive and the NSLM

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  20. Wow, awesome..And most importantly happeee birthday. I am not gonna mess with your mom, she is to strong(congrats to her). Cool cake, she's pretty talented. Not sure if we would eat a cake with rats BOL
    Benny & Lily

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  21. Happy Birthday to you, Guinness, and to Groucho's Mom too. That cake was so cool. Your mom sure looks a lot stronger than our weakling Momster.

    Woos, Phantom and TD

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  22. Beldar, we must touch cones. Would you pass the liquid replenishment modules?

    Wow--you guys sure know how to party! Sewage-cakes, pumpin' iron, and the Coneheads at Home... Life is exciting in Nova Scotia!

    Congrats of being Cover-Wolf! That's pretty awesome!

    Cheers,

    Buster, Persephone & Bailey

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  23. Happy Birthday Guiness!
    Pawesome party hat!
    Happy Birthday Groucho's Mom!
    And your mom sure is strong! My mom has a hard time just lifting me! Hmmm...
    Kisses and hugs
    Lorenza

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  24. Om Dawg, what a cool post. where to start?

    Happy 3-year day! yay!
    Your mom is 41? wow, me too. your mom looks like a kid compared to me!
    And DAMN, that 300 lbs of weight lifting! holy crap. I sooo would NOT want to start a bar fight with her. neither would Loki or Juno for that matter and they sure love a good old fashioned brawl. those weightlifting shots were way cool.

    and that cake is totally gross. it'd be easy to "skip" eating that thing! yuck! (bet it tasted good tho!)
    wags-n-wiggles,
    wild dingo

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  25. That looked like fun! It was my son's birthday on the 11th. He's only 15!!

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  26. Gosh, your human is STRONG!!!

    Belated Happy Birthday, Guiness!! 3yrs old, huh? You're a young gentleman now! :-) That looks like a great party for Groucho's human - what a cake!!!!

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  27. Can we have your autograph!?!? And your mom's?
    That cake is so icky. :) We love it!!!
    What a great post!
    Play bows,
    Zim

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  28. AWWW GUINESS!!!! Guess what? My mom/secretary received that DOGJOY book for her BDAY in Nov! & we just turned to p. 45 & THERE YOU ARE!!!!

    COOL!!!

    I'm gonna have to do a bloggy post about that!

    & your mama is one strong lady!

    She could life MANGO like nothing!

    Love & LIcks,
    Randi

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  29. Happy Birthday Guinness!!! At least now you know who your true pals are....Saige is faithful! ;) That sewer cake was funny...hey, did you get any cake sweetie?

    Also, the snow sculpture pics were great!

    Nala

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  30. Happy Belated Birthday, Guinness!
    LOL'ing about that cake!!! That is a hoot!

    hugs from afar,
    Duhgall and Fiona
    ...and maw

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  31. Love the hat, Guinness, it's so 'you'. And the cake baker seems to have quite the sense of humor... looks yummy!!! Belated Happy Birthday!

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